Craving and Temptations, Part of our Human Experience Part of being human is to have cravings and temptations. The brain likes the feel-good feelings that are released through dopamine and the other happy chemicals like serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins which are released when a person consumes substances like drugs and alcohol and engages in behaviors […]
Most of us want to change unwanted behaviors, even if the desire is very small. Wanting change is the beginning. Seeing ourselves as a changed person, going through life without the behavior, is vital to our long-term healing. Working to Change Behavior vs. Seeing us as Changed It has been my experience that most clients […]
A Global Positioning System (GPS) is extremely handy when we are trying to find a location, particularly when we are in unfamiliar territory. We can drive while listening to the audio instructions from the GPS as well as view our position in relationship to the electronic map. Wrong Turn / Recalculating Even with our best […]
If you’ve ever traveled abroad, you’ve had this experience: when you arrive at the customs checkpoint you have to declare or reveal what you’re bringing into the country. It can be odd to do a mental inventory of your luggage contents. Then it can even be shocking when you realize there’s an item of concern […]
On a daily basis, you work within many complex situations involving both individuals and families. Sometimes you would like to see something in your relationship with others change. In order to be happy, often times, you will want someone else to make that change. Unfortunately, this behavior can lead to feelings of being stuck, helpless […]
Instead of rebelling in knee-jerk ways, remember the true range of your freedom. Sometimes, destructive patterns appeal to us because they offer the illusion of freedom. Giving into an urge gives us a phony sense of autonomy. The woman controlled by her appetite thinks, “To heck with vegetables. I’m going to eat what I want!” […]
Put into Words the Payoffs of and Arguments for Indulging. Part of the power of addictive thinking is that it remains unexplored, like a black box whose workings remain concealed. Expressing the appeal of an urge can reveal the gears and springs by which the apparatus did its formerly mysterious work. Interestingly enough, compelling “reasons” […]
Our minds are oriented toward simplicity and they are quicker to grab onto inner signals that are gross (obvious and intense) rather than fine (subtle and difficult to distinguish). It’s easier to shop than it is to feel inadequate. Likewise, it’s easier to mindlessly flip on the TV than to recognize that we’re longing for […]
Learn to Recognize and Lean Towards Pleasant and Unpleasant Emotions. When you experience one of feeling states that can lead up to your destructive habit, break it down into component parts. A compelling emotional state can seem monolithic, like a chaotic swirl of intensity. Research shows that writing out or verbally describing feelings can help […]
Addictions are hard to stop. Anyone who has tried to change a behavior knows how much work and effort it takes. Addictions often start because someone introduces us to a substance or stimulus, or out of curiosity we discover it on our own. Sometimes it is a combination of being introduced to the stimulus and […]
