Grief and Loss If you have experienced a significant loss, you quickly realize that there is typically nothing people can say that will make you feel better. The loss of a loved one can consume nearly every thought and feeling that you experience making it seem impossible to ever be yourself again. Mixed Emotions Painful […]
She tried to call him on his cell phone, but he didn’t answer. It was 4:30 Friday afternoon. She tried again, no answer. An old familiar sick feeling swept over her. Emily pinched her eyes closed, trying to ignore the tidal wave that had just crashed down on top of her. She dialed the number […]
It’s not as easy as it may seem to remain addicted. Craving must lead to acting out, because it’s the acting out that fuels these future cravings. If we stop acting on our cravings, the entire machinery of addiction starts to wind down and its momentum begins to fade. Therefore, to keep the cycle going, […]
This article is by a wonderful new therapist on our Suncrest Counseling team, Kylie Bair. A tall, athletic student sits across from me fidgeting and unable to get comfortable. It’s our first meeting; I’m learning the basics. Loves to play soccer. Enjoys time with friends. … Then I dive in: “So, what brought you in […]
You don’t need to be an authority on porn to be your kid’s primary resource on the topic. After all, you’re an expert on the two things that matter most — You unconditionally love your child and know them better than anyone else. Plus, you have deeply held sexual values. Without being an expert, you’re […]
If you’ve ever traveled abroad, you’ve had this experience: when you arrive at the customs checkpoint you have to declare or reveal what you’re bringing into the country. It can be odd to do a mental inventory of your luggage contents. Then it can even be shocking when you realize there’s an item of concern […]
Many equate being “in recovery” from a pornography problem with being completely free of the problem. If they blow it and have a slip, they conclude that they’ll be back on track only after they’ve gone a few weeks–or perhaps even months–free of porn again. This is an overly simplistic view. Think about how discouraging […]
Instead of rebelling in knee-jerk ways, remember the true range of your freedom. Sometimes, destructive patterns appeal to us because they offer the illusion of freedom. Giving into an urge gives us a phony sense of autonomy. The woman controlled by her appetite thinks, “To heck with vegetables. I’m going to eat what I want!” […]
Put into Words the Payoffs of and Arguments for Indulging. Part of the power of addictive thinking is that it remains unexplored, like a black box whose workings remain concealed. Expressing the appeal of an urge can reveal the gears and springs by which the apparatus did its formerly mysterious work. Interestingly enough, compelling “reasons” […]
Our minds are oriented toward simplicity and they are quicker to grab onto inner signals that are gross (obvious and intense) rather than fine (subtle and difficult to distinguish). It’s easier to shop than it is to feel inadequate. Likewise, it’s easier to mindlessly flip on the TV than to recognize that we’re longing for […]
